Der Gemütlich Winkel

Unintentional thoughts of a struggling writer & poet on trivial yet acidic issues like politics, nations, life, himself, etc.

19 March, 2009

Banker to every Indian.


Over 16000 branches. $127 billion in assets. The only Indian bank to feature in the Fortune 500 list. A banking behemoth. And as a recent public relation activity suggests, the banker to every Indian. Yes, you guessed it right, I’m talking about State Bank of India.

The sweet pleasure of ‘feel good’ was sensed by the great Indian middle class. After all it is satisfying to know that even fishmongers can operate a bank account in our country, save their menial earnings and ultimately progress. ‘Jai Ho’. The government of India that owns a sixty percent stake in the bank couldn’t complain at a time when it has to play with a double-edged sword of ‘recession’ and ‘election’. Two words that send a chill down the spine of any government in power.

This blithe was shattered, at least on a personal level as I set forward on a tax saving mission just before the March end deadline. A well-wisher suggested opening a PPF (public provident fund) account with a public sector bank. And what better than State Bank of India, the best and largest of Indian public sector banks.

I set about on opening an account equipped with the addresses of most of the State Bank of India branches in the eastern satellite township of Delhi. Apparently an easy pursuit, I faced my first roadblock when I couldn’t trace where to ask about opening a PPF account. But my apprehensions were soon put to rest as I saw a small plastic board dangling on corner of the ceiling of the branch declaring ‘PPF/Senior Citizens’. Happy to see the board, I marched forward to know how I can become the ‘proverbial’ State Bank of India customer like they show in the advertisements. After negotiating a queue and spending some time near the counter, a young and smart officer, probably a direct recruitment from the bank exams, curtly asked my residential address. I was not expecting an oral revelation of my residential address and quite bewildered, I answered. I was further surprised to know that I cannot open a PPF account in this branch because there are State Bank of India branches nearer to my residential address. I never knew that bankers also had a ‘cable guy’ mentality of diving areas.

Imagine Swiss banks declining deposits from around the globe! The officer was however courteous enough to tell me which branch I should get in touch with. I rather reached the next branch with an air of high place as a much larger branch’s officer has confidently sent me here. Now no one could stop me from opening a PPF account. After all I was in the right place. I mentioned my purpose of being there to another officer, much older, probably pushing retirement. He brought out a printed paper with lot of things outlined. One set of points were documents admissible as identity proof and another set as address proof. I found I had almost all documents that pass as an identity proof like Voter ID, Driving License, Passport and, PAN card.

Now came the tricky part, address proof. One look made me feel I have them. Credit card bills, telephone bills, letter from an employer seemed quite familiar. But my world came crashing down when the officer with an acidic smile explained that these documents should be of a state-owned service provider or employer. I had none. Like most of urban Indians, I use credit cards of private banks, a private telephone company’s broadband and landline and work for a private limited company. For State Bank of India, I do not have a valid physical address. I do not exist!

I suddenly recalled the picture of the fishmonger on State Bank of India’s advertisement. I wondered does she have these address proof documents. I was also trying to think what I can say to this officer so that he agrees to open an account. I, like most Indians who have some experience of dealing with public sector banks, had asked for references or ‘introduction’ in State Bank of India within the people I know. An ‘introduction’ is an existing customer who will vouch for me being a nice person. And fortunately I had one.

When I suggested this, the officer slyly told me that this system has been discontinued. I had nothing more to say but was firm in my belief that such cannot be the system in a free democratic country’s state owned bank. So, I reached another branch that is near my place of work. I was left aghast when the guard stopped me at the gate saying I can’t get inside because lunch is underway. When did they start closing bank branches for lunch!

It was too much of repudiation for me to bear in a day. Lost all faith in Indian public sector banks all over again and State Bank of India’s public relation ‘gimmick’ and ‘Jai Ho’. When I discussed my affliction with friends, I was suggested correctives. Some also recommended good branches of State Bank of India with eager to help people.

Connection matters in our country where success is measured on a scale of number of ‘right people’ you know. I being reasonably connected for my age might end with a PPF account with State Bank of India. But the bargain is not at all conducive for a progressive nation and slumdogs turning millionaires remains a fairy tale. Or worse still a mirage following which people might get hurt.

07 July, 2008

Women and the Nuclear Energy


I excuse myself for the choice of title of this write up if it made you think that the ultra women may hold the key to our energy woes. They do not. At least not directly. Rather impertinent it might seem to some, I have a simple yet undiscovered base to affiliate women to nuclear energy. But unfortunately this nexus between women and nuclear energy is not a win-win situation for the two.

The recent political drama about the Nuclear deal that ensues even as I write this article has been hitting headlines for time immemorial now. Twists and turns in the Nuclear deal even beat the recent Bollywood Blockbuster 'Race'. And last of these tacks (as of now) was Samajwadi Party's decision to back the Congress led UPA government at the center in case the Left withdraws support on the issue of Nuclear deal. While Samjawadi Party's official decree gave a kiss of life to the Nuclear deal, the event itself was laden with controversies. Firstly, Samajwadi Party was not very sure and only after an endorsement from ex-President and scientist APJ Abdul Kalam, could muster the political will to support. Secondly, critics say the decision was a last ditch effort by the Samajwadi Party to connect with the masses whose unhappiness is seeing them sit in the opposition benches of the Uttar Pradesh State Legislative Assembly. Lastly, the crutch that they are offering the Nuclear deal comes at a price. And one of the wishes of the Samajwadi Party is to drop the women's (reservation) bill.

One thing that surely shocked me was why did the media remain unmoved even at the hint of such a barter, which otherwise is very vocal about anything to do with women. For one, a 'popular' 24 hours Hindi news channel made a two hour program on all the women who want to win over wrestler Khali, not very long ago.

So, as they say, you cannot have it all. Not the middle class at least, who have to trudge the hard way to become successful. And yes, India is middle class, err, actually developing, as they say for countries (and not middle class that is meant for individuals). Maybe this is the problem. Like individuals have this 'middle class thinking' problem (that means a fear of dreaming and aiming bigger than what one has seen anyone achieving; according to my understanding, ofcourse), we, as a nation have this 'developing country thinking' issue. This leaves us gratified with whatever little our government does for us. We get used to (and a part of) the corruption, bad roads, power shortage, delayed trains & flights, long queues, poor housing, no social security, food adulterants, no 911, an unapproachable police, a must avoid judiciary, poverty, begging, casteism, regionalism, fundamentalism and politics based on all of these, rapes, murders and what not.

And only we are responsible for the ironical yet unfortunate trade off that might happen pretty soon. Women's Bill or the Nuclear deal. It is us who bring such incapacitated politicians to power who look like jokers whenever faced with a trying situation.

We are also accountable for coalition politics. Political parties without majority scour for partners who might help them lead (read rule) the country. Like-minded parties come together. But like-mindedness is love but coalition is like marriage. And these are different ball games altogether. The way the Left parties take it is, 'Hey Dude! So, you couldn't make it, eh? Don't worry, keep running, and if I don't like the way you run, I'll pull the trigger.' And for the Nuclear deal, 'Run Lola Run'.

I'm not favoring the Women's reservation bill, not because I'm against women. But more so because I'm against any kind of mindless reservation which is not socio-politico-economically aimed. But what makes me sad is the reason why some political parties are opposing it, and that they might become successful in doing so, thanks to some timely maneuvered political blackmailing.

So, the government, on behalf of a nation whose energy needs are spiraling and facing an urgency to replace petroleum as an energy source, requests all women to shun their political aspirations and the emancipation that might had followed. And in lieu of that, the government promises that you will not have to walk miles to get timber for cooking. Water will flow down taps in your homes and not at a hand-pump kilometers away. There will be electricity in your kitchen where you will cook with LNG or electricity run ovens. Somewhere around 2015. And if all of that does not happen, there will, surely be superfluous media coverage and nondescript news articles like this.

16 June, 2008

Mere Baap Pehle Aap: A review


The movie opened to cinemas without much fanfare in midst of not-so-catchy trailers and thumbs down reviews. Even my decision to watch this movie was driven by a non-availability of tickets for others. All fears of a goofy, slapstick comedy with cheap songs were coming to fore with the cameo that the movie started with. End of the why-was-it-there Cameo. Enter Om Puri who plays the role of Madhav Mathur, an oldie bachelor who is desperate to get married. The actor makes a bad cut in the character with his acting talents severely suffocated.


He is the friend of Janardhan Rane, played well by Paresh Rawal whose son Gaurav (Akshay Khanna) is the owner of a mall. First few minutes are wasted as the director tries to tickle you hard (without much success) with putting Madhav and Janardhan in almost unconceivable situations that might seem funny for someone with a bad humor.


The storyline suddenly gets a breath of fresh air with the arrival of Genelia D'souza (Shikha Kapoor) who is playing pranks on Gaurav for reasons only the story unfolds. And Priyadarshan has taken us into his charm again. Only this time Genelia's warm smile coming to rescue with a few thoughtfully sprinkled and effective comic sequences. You might actually fall off laughing during some scenes.


Boy meets girl. Gaurav meets Shikha. But in what fashion. The girl taking a revenge for college ragging years ago by pretending to be a ditched girlfriend who happens to be the mother of Gaurav's baby even. Cute, eh? Laughter scores as Gaurav runs berserk trying to find out who is behind his discomfiture. The plight is set straight by the girl and the guy takes it sportingly. But they do not fall in love immediately. Not the girl. But ofcourse the girl gets emotionally attached with Gaurav's father, Baapu. Something is surely brewing.


A humorous first half transforms into a semi-pseudo-serious second half. The much ado is actually about Paresh Rawal's long lost love Anuradha, played by Shobhana, who is incidentally Shikha's aunt. Not much of a role for Shobhana though, the situation does bring up social issues like the remarrying of the elderly and the general apathy towards love marriages. Priyadarshan is able to handle the issue quite beautifully. Now Gaurav and Shikha will bring them together, against all odds. And fall in love in doing so. The story meanders okay, keeping you tied to the seats, waiting for the ensuing excitement.


Amid all the chaos, hulla-bulla, comedy, and some unexciting cha cha between Gaurav & Shikha and Janardhan & Anuradha, Madhav (Om Puri) continues to look for an eligible spinster and always landing in one or the other perplexity with some in your face slapstick comedy moments. In the end though, he is able to hitch up with Inspector Bhawani (played hilariously well by Archana Puran Singh) as they spent so much time together in the police station, the Inspector eternally picking him up from his misadventures.


The film has an happy ending like all Priyadarshan movies. Baapu-Teacher get married. Naseeruddin Shah who plays Shikhas' father brings up a well thought of surprise after throwing in some tantrums about the union of Shikha and Gaurav. Very cute.


Rajpal Yadav's character is also insignificant but he plays it quite well, in his typical style. The movie does not have memorable performances, and indeed not at all an unforgettable storyline. But as a whole, the story is able to make you laugh, amaze at a few very sweet moments that the script throws up and unwind totally. Isn't that what we watch movies for? A sure entertainer, do watch it once.

18 February, 2008

Protagonist



I have endured,

gloomy rainy Sunday afternoons,

post teen addiction to cartoons,

worklessness and pleasure,

money and measure.


A kid’s yearning for a sibling,

vodka glasses tripling,

insomniac phases,

all night star gazes.


Painstaking school, college chores,

indecent dark alley whores,

those imperious cheeky garrulous bores,

sweet childhood crushes and heart sores.


I have overcome,

mid day drippy gut crunching games,

teenage goof-up shames,

family’s list of you should be’s

and inerasable infidel would be’s.


I have lived,

incessant teas and cigarettes,

abstaining lunch breaks,

marathon addas with friends,

without flinching about graduation grades.

Two accidents,

career setbacks,

unfounded ideologies,

fantasizing Maybachs.


Today,

I relish my pragmatic dreams,

whimsical chilly winter ice creams,

the first pair of a now torn Levi’s,

and my small world brimming with positive vibes.


I will live,

to realize everything I can,

move on from any futile plan,

for the smiles of people who love,

and for myself to prove,

I am a protagonist.

30 January, 2008

Love ?!#

Long time...


This one is to all the bright women whom I was fortunate to know, while not being so privileged themselves...for obvious reasons...

No hard feelings...

Here goes...


I thought I could sense her

Her dreamy eyes I had always known

Her becoming smile made her my own

Fragrance familiar as my skin

All bearings to my heart akin

Said could never hurt me

Proclaimed,” Can’t live sans thee”



I felt we were destiny's own

A frequency seldom hatched

Chemistry, they said was unmatched

The fights were a course in escalating love

Sweet tranquil moments replenished like a paired dove

Profusion of an occasional honey-coated kiss

Reality or dream was this bliss?


Then the contrast came to the fore

Perturbing her every other moment

Like an eyesore

I was stagnant and paunchy

Contrary to the prince charming

Of her sanity

Each habit seemed to irritate to the core

How can one love any more?



All castles came crushing down

With a gust of materiality

Part did I with hell full of pain

An ironic yet bitter eventuality

Eyes still ache

With even the slightest immaturity

Of an amorous daydream

Nights choking with hysterity


Venturing along to fathom my alter ego

An untrodden body and soul

Myriad countenance of a woman

A frown occasionally stole

Icy images of separation

Can ever break this chain?

Man struggling to decipher

The deepest desires of a woman

All in vain!

Trudging a confessed formidable way

Playing my destiny’s game

18 November, 2007

Nandigram cauldron: An inbred dispute


The SEZ dream has gone bust. Homes burnt, men, women and children killed. Nandigram today is a battle field, staging almost a civil war.


One is inclined to think what went wrong for an ambitious chemical hub that was supposed to generate employment for thousands of people?


For facts, the Indonesian conglomerate, Salim Group wanted to set up a chemical SEZ. Nandigram was chosen for the limelight due its supply chain compatibility with Haldia, home to IOC’s and Haldia Petrochemicals’ refineries.


But this was not to be. This huge aspiring project needed land and a lot of it. Call it miscommunication by the state, or a general aversion to industry and capitalists that ironically enough, the ruling CPM had created over the decades, Nandigram revolted to the idea of resettlement.


A stronghold of the CPM till that point in time, its men, women and children came out on streets demanding project be scraped or relocated. Misinformation ruled the roost and the good-for-nothing opposition tried to cash on this issue by saying that the CPM is selling the country to foreigners. There was also the impending fear of losing land, the common man’s main source of livelihood. There were talks of jobs coming from the chemical hub, but this was uncertain. No one had worked before in any industry and this change seemed to unsettle everything, including the pattern in poverty.


CPM’s impression was that of being a party of the peasants, the daily wage labors, the ‘borgadars’ who worked for share on farms of large landowners, the common man. The newfangled, pro-industrialization image of the CPM is yet to reach out to the masses, the people who have been almost religiously voting them to Writers’ Building every five years. (I really do not want to strike the booth-capturing debate right now, although it is quite arguable.) These people, who also lived in Nandigram felt cheated. How can we sell our land to foreigners to build something we do not even understand?


Rumors regarding job uncertainty, corruption in the deal and incorrect land valuation were ensured steadily by people who do not want the progress of West Bengal, not at least the CPM doing it successfully. Fuelling everything was the fear of losing the only asset people have, land. And then there was ‘violence’.


Most appalling of all the events related to Nandigram was the onslaught by the state machinery on the common people. Thousands of policemen marched in, to crush any protest for land acquisition for the chemical hub. It is a dreadful thing to think of. Man vs Man, Indian vs Indian, State vs people.


This brings us to the unfathomable argument of to what extent should the state machinery go against the people for development? Development that is aimed at the benefits of the same people who are protesting it. Should there be policies and legislations regarding this? If yes, then on what parameters?


This is a great constitutional controversy, involving a lot of insights into human rights and public policy, best suited for the constitutional experts.
But as commoners, cannot we understand what lies in the best interests for ourselves? People with basic education will know that agrarian economies cannot match the growth or living standards of industrialized economies.


Moreover, one reasoning that is always provided against land acquisition cases in West Bengal is that the land is fertile and multi-crop. This argument is utterly baseless, not because it is false but due to the fact that land in almost whole of West Bengal is fertile and multi-crop. Where do we find barren or arid land to set up industries? The few areas where the land is less productive, largely the areas bordering Orissa and Jharkhand and the hilly areas are far away from industrial hubs of Kolkata, Haldia or the Durgapur-Bardhman. Most undesirable to any business sense.


Furthermore, it is common knowledge that the same size of land when used for industry generates more employment for the people and income for the nation than agriculture. Then why this holding on to agriculture?


If we scour deeper for answers, we find it to be a ‘colonial hangover’. Land and agrarian activities are considered belonging to us, Indians. Anything resembling industry and affluence is connected with imperialism or colonialism. No wonder, we, the educated, employed class have taken from erstwhile ‘gora sahibs’ as the successor ‘brown sahibs’. Though Indians, we take pride when poorer countrymen call us ‘sahibs’ as if are the Indian britishers. We see class difference everywhere, though the gap is closing in with rapid industrialization.


But West Bengal where Nandigram is located is a case in isolation. Communist influence and trade unionism saw the ‘flight of capital’ from the state since early seventies. The state also missed the first bus when liberalization policies were introduced in 1991, again due to the same reasons. It had been such a long time that industry and capital have become as alien as britishers for the masses. Nandigram is not the first instance. Whenever there have been efforts for large industrial projects to come up, there had been repulsion from the masses, largely due to the inertia that was created over the years.


This public apathy needs to be cured from the minds of people, not by police lathicharge and atrocities. Using gram panchayat as a pedestal, the state can easily deliver the benefits of industrialization, albeit slowly but surely.


What happened in Nandigram was disgraceful for the state and the ruling party. But the opposition is to equally share the blame for spreading imprecise and unwanted knowledge across. The so-called Bengal intellectuals came openly out in public to protest atrocities by the police. Public rallies have become regular phenomena in Kolkata, already infamous for being the ‘city of processions.’ One simple question. Why did not they invest their energies in creating awareness among the people of Nandigram about the benefits of the chemical hub? Probably walking a couple of miles in the November sun in Kolkata is after all not that bad an idea to gain limelight, proving ones commitment to a cause than spending the summer months in Nandigram, walking village to village, making people understand, in absence of basic civic amenities.


The CPM might win this ordeal of a chemical hub. Or the Trinamool Congress might win in stopping CPM in its march against commoners of Nandigram. Some Kolkata celebrities and intellectuals might win a cause for the lifetime. But if this trend continues, West Bengal surely stands to succumb.

12 November, 2007

Moto's face-off with Nokia


Hi! Wrote this one for a job test ;-) But kind of liked it...


Hope u like it too...and have some insights into the global mobile handsets market...


Nokia, a clear market leader in the global mobile phone market is facing stiff opposition from its long time competitor Motorola. Motorola, which fames to be the first company ever to make mobile telephony possible, was under attack from the Finnish mobile giant even on its home turf i.e. USA.


But the scene is fast changing. Motorola has revitalized its product range and launched a fresh new branding strategy. The company is brimming with new energy and come out with good phones with flaunting names like razr, pebl and flip. And the good news is that these are available at competitive prices to the global consumers. This is a definitive edge that Motorola is playing over its rival Nokia.


Moreover, Nokia was able to capture the global mobile market largely due to its investments on newer technologies like GSM. Motorola was happy making CDMA handsets that is the ruling technology in its country, USA. Nokia even dented into this market with flashy CDMA handsets. Motorola learnt a hard lesson as it saw its market share dwindling even in its dominion. Now, Motorola is beating Nokia on its own game. Not only has Motorola strengthened its CDMA range, its core strength, they have invested in and developed a modernistic array of GSM handsets.


Motorola has become a major player in the booming Chinese mobile handset market. Furthermore, Motorola is gradually eating up the market pie of the Indian mobile handset market where Nokia, not a long ago was ruling the roost with a more than 80% market share.

The key driver behind Motorola’s turnaround was a strong management determination which translated into a new branding strategy. The major issue facing Motorola was recognition. In all leading developing markets, Nokia and mobile handsets had almost become synonymous. The intention was now to create new products and build brands. Motorola hired world major, Ogilvy and Mather to take on the reins of building this strong awareness across the markets where Motorola was engaged in.


The endeavors have started paying off and Motorola is evidently giving sleepless nights to the top brass of the Finnish mobile handset major. If the direction and extent of this branding and marketing strategy by Motorola holds steam, we will soon see Motorola replacing Nokia at the numero uno slot.