Protagonist

I have endured,

gloomy rainy Sunday afternoons,

post teen addiction to cartoons,

worklessness and pleasure,

money and measure.

A kid’s yearning for a sibling,

vodka glasses tripling,

insomniac phases,

all night star gazes.

Painstaking school, college chores,

indecent dark alley whores,

those imperious cheeky garrulous bores,

sweet childhood crushes and heart sores.

I have overcome,

mid day drippy gut crunching games,

teenage goof-up shames,

family’s list of you should be’s

and inerasable infidel would be’s.

I have lived,

incessant teas and cigarettes,

abstaining lunch breaks,

marathon addas with friends,

without flinching about graduation grades.

Two accidents,

career setbacks,

unfounded ideologies,

fantasizing Maybachs.

Today,

I relish my pragmatic dreams,

whimsical chilly winter ice creams,

the first pair of a now torn Levi’s,

and my small world brimming with positive vibes.

I will live,

to realize everything I can,

move on from any futile plan,

for the smiles of people who love,

and for myself to prove,

I am a protagonist.

Love ?!#

Long time...

This one is to all the bright women whom I was fortunate to know, while not being so privileged themselves...for obvious reasons...

No hard feelings...

Here goes...

I thought I could sense her

Her dreamy eyes I had always known

Her becoming smile made her my own

Fragrance familiar as my skin

All bearings to my heart akin

Said could never hurt me

Proclaimed,” Can’t live sans thee”

I felt we were destiny's own

A frequency seldom hatched

Chemistry, they said was unmatched

The fights were a course in escalating love

Sweet tranquil moments replenished like a paired dove

Profusion of an occasional honey-coated kiss

Reality or dream was this bliss?

Then the contrast came to the fore

Perturbing her every other moment

Like an eyesore

I was stagnant and paunchy

Contrary to the prince charming

Of her sanity

Each habit seemed to irritate to the core

How can one love any more?

All castles came crushing down

With a gust of materiality

Part did I with hell full of pain

An ironic yet bitter eventuality

Eyes still ache

With even the slightest immaturity

Of an amorous daydream

Nights choking with hysterity

Venturing along to fathom my alter ego

An untrodden body and soul

Myriad countenance of a woman

A frown occasionally stole

Icy images of separation

Can ever break this chain?

Man struggling to decipher

The deepest desires of a woman

All in vain!

Trudging a confessed formidable way

Playing my destiny’s game

Will you ...

Will you love me if I do
promise to stay with you
be a pillar by your side
and chaperon you
from mean people
blood bias
career chaos
all stones on me
no veiled secrets
and care for everything you do?

Will you be with me if I do
behold you in my eyes
dreams and hopes
hold you in my arms tight
fender lurking menace and spite
when you need my shoulder
and let go when you want to fly
no strings tying you
do you promise you will come back?

Will you let me dream on your lap if I do
caress your hair
feel lost in your fragrance
bless my life in you
mind, body and soul
unflinching fidelity
with our togetherness as a goal
no one to violate this sanctity
will you value love of essence?

Will you be with me forever if I do
meliorate all your follies and
appreciate your doing that for me
connive time made decline
be a nice son to your parents
a terrific father to your kids
crackerjack partner to top it all
in lifetime ups and fall
no straying if you come with me
will you come with me?

My city, My Delhi

I came to Delhi one hot April morning back in 2003, to pursue my post graduation with a dream of a high paying job, a smart and sure channel to high life. Delhi was the Eldorado, a city with an ever growing number of educational institutions, corporate & head offices of multinationals, the local economy thriving, all resulting in a huge job market. A market from where I contemplated my honest share. Life has not been a cakewalk, but Delhi has been a home ever since.

And suddenly a few weeks back I read headlines quoting Mrs. Sheila Dixit that immigrants from neighboring states like Uttar Pradesh and Bihar are creating infrastructural bottlenecks for the city. Even though she started her political career as a member of parliament from the Kannauj parliamentary constituency in Uttar Pradesh in 1984. Wonder did she migrate back and forth to Delhi! In the following days, this brought out huge public outcry by various sections of the society and political parties, eventually making Mrs. Dixit to backtrack on her indiscretion.

But the debate does not end here. The issue is more serious than what it seems on the face of it. This is a xenophobic hangover that the average Indian, moreover an average Delhiite suffers from. Appalling though that the much respected Chief Minister of Delhi jumped the bandwagon. “Pata nahin kahan-kahan se aa jate hain”. ‘God knows from where these people come from’. I have heard such comments on the slightest altercations with auto-wallahs, while bargaining on the fare (did you say meter?) or a request to take an extra mile that was not clarified beforehand.

But why this xenophobia? Have not we, the people of India solemnly resolved to constitute India into a sovereign, socialist, democratic, republic, with justice, liberty, equality and fraternity as our guiding principles. People who were not privileged enough to attend a school can be condoned for the time being. What about all those who surely read the preamble to the Indian constitution, that is, if they have passed school!

An explanation to such mindset is a struggle to get hold of the few jobs and business prospects that a particular geographical area offers. Dereliction creates hatred in a contest to chase the constrained resources. But this is incorrect by a huge margin in the context of Delhi. It is one of the most prosperous and opulent cities in India. There is profuseness of almost everything except for road space, water and electricity. Problems that can be tackled with careful and dedicated planning.

These thoughts have brought out another compelling and bewildering question. Who is a Delhiite anyway? The walled city was built and inhabited by Mughals who came from Asia Minor. New Delhi was built by the imperial British. Both these empires attracted common people from various adjoining and far away areas who immersed themselves in trade and the plentitude of employment generated by the flourishing dominions. Who is a native then? Someone whose family has outstayed the newcomers? The Punjabi and Bengali migrants from West and East Pakistan who made Delhi their home in 1947? Or the huge Kashmiri pandits expatriate population who settled here after the onset of militancy in Kashmir? Or the gargantuan bureaucracy that lives in the city to carry on the colossal government machinery, both central and state? A officialdom that found its way into the ranks of the civil service from diverse geographical regions in India. I am confused and believe that even a reader is.

But on second thoughts, why ponder on this issue at all? Delhi has reached the pinnacle of its glory where it is today due to its sheer pragmatism. A city that was just the capital of the country with a few institutions of pride couple of decades back, it has transformed into a metropolis with global imprints. The city is a major center for education, trade & commerce, industry and any other standpoint. This has been achieved by not clinging on its past and embracing change as it came. Something that other metros like Kolkata markedly failed to. Delhi, as a city is better off underpinning its dynamism that is not reflected in any type of xenophobic attitude.

So, we are all citizens of this country and cosmopolitan Delhi. Hailing from Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, West Bengal, Punjab, Haryana, Rajasthan, etc., we live in this city, work here, spend here and dream here. Antecedents should not come in the way of cementing a social framework that is vying to be global. Let us unite in this endeavor to make it a reality, make Delhi a global cosmopolitan. Pose a competition to New York, which has prospered by espousing emigrants from a multitude of European, African and Asian, races. And even outshine it by doing away with wantons like Harlem.

I am all for this view and am not going anywhere. This is my city, my Delhi!

Total recall ...

Though not much of a poet, I've tried to put together lines that rhyme, composing dialogues with self, since my years in graduation. These lines are a culmination of my years till now...

hope you like it...

I have endured,
gloomy rainy sunday afternoons,
post teen addiction to cartoons,
worklessness and pleasure,
money and measure.

A kid’s yearning for a sibling,
vodka glasses tripling,
insomniac phases,
all night star gazes.

Painstaking school, college chores,
indecent dark alley whores,
those imperious cheeky garrulous bores,
sweet childhood crushes and heart sores.

I have overcome,
mid day drippy gut crunching games,
teenage goof-up shames,
family’s list of you should be’s
and inerasable infidel would be’s.


I have lived,
incessant teas and cigarettes,
abstaining lunch breaks,
marathon addas with friends,
without flinching about graduation grades.
Two accidents,
career setbacks,
unfounded ideologies,
fantasizing Maybachs.

Today,
I relish my pragmatic dreams,
whimsical chilly winter ice creams,
the first pair of a now torn Levi’s,
and my small world brimming with positive vibes.

I will live,
to realize everything I can,
move on from any futile plan,
For the smiles of people who love,
and for myself to prove,I am a protagonist.